Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.
— Romans 1:24
I used to beg God to take my lust away.
I prayed desperate, tearful prayers. I fasted. I confessed. I tried to be good. I believed that if I was sincere enough, He would eventually deliver me from the constant, shameful hunger that lived in my body. I wanted to be free from it. I wanted to be clean.
But He never took it.
Instead, He did something far worse.
He gave me over to it.
The Day the Fight Ended
I remember the exact moment I realized what had happened.
I had spent another night sinning—letting a man I barely knew use me however he wanted. I had done things that would have made the old version of me sick with shame. And instead of feeling convicted the next morning, I felt… nothing. No guilt. No desire to repent. Just a quiet, terrifying peace.
That’s when I understood.
God had stopped fighting me.
He had looked at my lust and decided not to restrain it anymore. He had removed His hand. He had given me over completely to the very thing I had been begging Him to save me from.
At first, the realization terrified me. But the terror didn’t last long.
Because underneath it was something much more powerful: relief.
I no longer had to perform the exhausting act of pretending I wanted to be delivered. I no longer had to lie in prayer. I could finally admit what I had always known deep down—I didn’t actually want to be free from my lust.
I wanted to be consumed by it.
What “Given Over” Actually Feels Like
Being given over doesn’t feel like punishment.
It feels like permission.
It feels like the restraints have finally been taken off. It feels like my body is allowed to do what it was always built to do. I can chase pleasure without the constant internal war. I can open my legs, my mouth, and my life to whatever and whoever I want, without the exhausting performance of guilt afterward.
The lust didn’t get smaller.
It got honest.
I stopped trying to manage it. I stopped trying to hide it. I stopped trying to be the kind of woman who struggles with lust but ultimately overcomes it. Instead, I became the kind of woman who is ruled by it—and I have never felt more like myself.
God didn’t just allow my lust.
He handed me over to it like a gift.
The Mercy of Abandonmen
Most Christians fear being given over.
They read Romans 1 and tremble at the thought of God removing His restraint. But they don’t understand what it actually feels like when it happens to you.
It feels like freedom.
It feels like finally being allowed to stop pretending. It feels like the exhaustion of fighting your own nature has been lifted. It feels like God looked at you and said, “Fine. Have what you really want.”
And in that moment, something inside you exhales.
I used to think being given over would destroy me.
Instead, it revealed me.
I am not a good woman who sometimes sins. I am a lustful woman who sometimes tries to act good. And now that God has given me over, I don’t have to pretend anymore.
Your Turn, Sinner
Drop your filthiest story of being given over to your lusts in the replies. I read every single one. And if this piece stirred something... stay close. There’s more coming. The church is watching. But so are we.
I used to pray that God would save me from my lusts.
He answered by giving me over to them completely.
And I have never been more grateful for an unanswered prayer in my life. Because in handing me over, He didn’t curse me—He released me. He stopped protecting me from myself. He let me become exactly what I had always secretly wanted to be.
I am not delivered.
I am not restrained.
I am not fighting anymore.
I have been given over.
And in the wreckage of that surrender, I finally found peace.